Whatever the outcome, I want my heart to be well

Today I got a no from a job interview I was on tenterhooks waiting for an answer to last week. It came after a lot of praying, waiting and other nos I'd had to what I thought would be straightforward work like coffee shops. This role was for a design lead so I felt naturally excited about it. There's only so much you can say to convince heaven you'd be the perfect fit for the role. When I was done with those prayers the rest of the time was spent figuring out if my heart could handle a no to the final stage of the interview.

I realised that's where I needed strength and a shift to happen. I'd put so much into this one role, as sexy as it sounded on paper, fixing everything I need right now. Finances, travel plans, creative motivation, even down to purpose. The heart moves fast and moves towards fix me things. It's amazing what my heart can get attached to at lightning speed. What's harder and less easily influenced is a heart that trusts it's creator rather than the opportunities that are immediate and visible. If I'm able to weather today's no well, my heart is going to be a much more reliable source, that can tell myself a good story about my future. The heart zig zags fast. If it can slow down to handle either outcomes well we're in a much better place with it.