Leaning in is not easy.
It demands courage, grit and dog eared determination. To lean in well you have to have the guts and stamina to say no to the wrong things. The wrong things tend to look pretty innocent. They might have been things that used to serve you well and your heart skipped a beat for in the past. But now they're energy drainers. They don't fulfil you in the same way anymore. Something has changed. It's internal and it's not going to go back to the same place again.
That's what makes leaning in so uncomfortable. It's easy to be in two minds about something that used to be good, feel good or added something to you. Now it takes away. A big indicator is you've lost interest and have your sights set on other things. Keep pursuing the other thing, even if you can't see it yet. The old version of you will feel reluctant and restless. The new version of who you're becoming will be immensely grateful.